2010 Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights XX

In yet another surprise outing, I got to check the premiere Halloween haunt event on the planet, namely Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Orlando. Simply put, I knew it would be good, but, as Dean Martin once said in Cannon Ball Run, it "blew my G** D*** doors off"! From houses, to scare zones to scaracters, I saw the high quality first hand. I came face to face with Fear and his many demented minions as well as The Usher, Jack, The Caretaker, and even The Director. And yes, as with all my adventures, there were several memorable moments:

• Before we go any further, Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit was running. Got several great pics of it and happy to see that coaster going again. (Applause!)
• After getting to Universal around 3:30 I upgraded to a Stay and Scream pass so James and I could get right in and hit some of the houses early. (Credit to Eric Yates for a good suggestion). This worked well and allowed us nearly walk in wait times on all but two houses later in the night. Believe me when I say, get there early. The time saved is well worth it.
• Loved Hallow'd Past and Catacombs. Orfanage ZombieGeddon were fun. Hades was the one that gave me the biggest jumps. PsychoScareapy and Legendary Truth had cool entrances and were also a good time. Did not see Havoc, since the theme didn't sound interesting.
• In Legendary Truth, according to James I was attacked by a chair. I saw what looked like a typical high back red Victorian chair to my left and then was blinded by a strobe light. Meanwhile, some red thing zipped in and out of my lower peripheral vision in about a second. Apparently, the chair lunged at me and I never caught it. Then James says something like "Oh my God! That chair just attacked you!" In a real horror movie, I so would've been toast.
• In Catacombs, an air jet blasted me square in the crotch. Well, it was...refreshing? Yes, make your own perv joke here. There are many to choose from. ;)
• In the HHN scare zone, I got spooked by a gashed up pigtailed cheer leader whom I had to get a pic with. Told her she was my best scare of the night. This gave her not only a smile, but incentive for a couple more startle attempts on our way out. Oh I did enjoy that. :)
• Was super thrilled to meet HHN icons The Usher, Jack, The Director, and The Caretaker and get pics with all. Even met the tall and creepy 13 and a very fetching stilt walking devil woman. (Yes I LOVE stilt walkers if you didn't already know).
• Got a great pic with Alice who was exceptionally cordial, but just ruthless in scaring and chasing down the poor souls she locked onto. Alice at one point herded a VERY scared lady smack into the devil woman and 13, all of whom surrounded the woman. The poor lady sunk to the ground as Alice shrieked "Why are you so scared?!" Alice was also hoot as she skipped and pranced merrily around the zone, only to stop and point while taunting "HA HA! You got scared!" I hear she's a stickler for manners and proper grammar too. Great job to that lady.
• In one of the houses James had been walking beside a very blind me (my eyes adjust very slowly in dark so it's very tough to see). Something didn't feel right and so I looked over to the right and there was big guy looking down at me walking alongside. It took about 3 seconds of delayed computing/reaction to realize this was not my partner in crime and then I jumped. Good bet that scareacter had a good story to tell about me.
• While milling about the HHN scare zone, a Universal film crew was weaving in and out of the crowd and followed me for a good minute or two. Came to find out later, this was part of a live Internet feed and I got some face time. Sadly, no way to get copies of the video, but cool just the same.
• Felt a little leery about eating at Mel's Die In (Mel's Drive In), but after missing lunch and running on a couple Powerades on a muggy afternoon, that burger was most tasty.
• I liked the theme of the Saws and Steam ally scare zone. It was like heavy metal music meets Steampunk engineers with glowing goggles and/or chainsaws. Also saw Steampunk Frankenstein wandering the HHN scare zone.
• Esqueleto Muerte was (and forgive me if I butcher this) El Dia De Los Muertos meets black light. More of a lightly creepy festive vibe and the Spanish inspired stilt walkers were quite cool. When I asked for pic with Senora stilt walker, she only glared then communicated with hand gestures. She motioned me to follow her away from the TON of smoke while her barely 4 foot robed minion was uncomfortably close. Then I had to get down on my knees. Then she patted my head like a good dog when I stood up. Unnerving, but are you going to argue with a nine foot tall Spanish dead lady? Creo que no, senor. Creo que no.
• We saw the famous Rat lady in her acrylic case with her fuzzy little rat friends scurrying about. Occasionally she'd jolt and bang the glass to make folks jump. The rats were just cute and part of me wanted to be in the case. Hey, it looked like fun!
• Earlier in the day we stopped for a drink in an ice cream shop. On the back wall was an autographed picture of Lucille Ball made out to...me (my name is Michael). This was curious because the very first time I went to Universal Studios Orlando (circa 1992), Lucille Ball had died not long before, and I saw a Lucy actress walking along the waterfront. The timing was eerie, and so was this picture. Rod Serling, your thoughts?
• To kill some time (rim shot) before the Bill & Ted show, James and I rode The Simpsons (formerly Back to the Future: The Ride). Definitely a fun redo with a couple fun odes to the former attraction. Also a hell of a lot more jostling than the chase to stop Biff Tannen. Had a good ride but came off dizzy and feeling like a bad Martini.
• Bill & Ted's show nailed several pop culture news makers and threw in a few surprises. Oh yes, Lohan and Gaga were prime (get it?) targets, but then Dr. Who showed up and raved with his blue light scanner device. Everybody about fell over when Sesame Street's count stole the heart of Twilight girl, forcing Team Jacob and Team Edward into a sparkly embrace. The Count's make out session with the girl and his burn on the two leftovers had everyone roaring. Meanwhile Avatar The Last Airbender showed off his righteous martial art skills with graceful flips and rolls...then he farted. Yep, Snooki and Situation showed up in all their washboard abs and sucker punch glory. At one point drunk and staggering Lohan passed out faced down on Situation's situation while he sat back with a smile. Oh yeah, lotsa cussing and suggestive stuff, but plenty of fair warning to those who dislike such things. Great show with more goodness than can be imparted in this space. Loved it!
• There was booze, beer or those Jello blood bag shots nearly every 10 feet with very pretty nurses right along side, holding poles with rotating lights. After about 11, you could tell who'd had one emergency transfusion too many. Since I was driving home, no suds for me. With the mugginess, Powerade and water were better bets. Besides, my get hammered party days are long gone. ;)
• Good safety, security, and crowd control throughout the event. Plenty of folks in the scare houses to keep guests moving and safe. Was for this, especially being half blind, in the lead, and not knowing which direction to go sometimes. Thank you good people with flashlights. :)
• So just how was Fear, aka the culmination of twenty years of HHN history? Tall, demonic, and sporting horns growing sideways out of his back that acted like banner poles, only with what looked like sheets of skin. His sneaky black swirling minions with no features and glowing cyclic faces were also a sight to behold, when they weren't silently behind you waiting for you to turn around.

This was my second ever haunt event and outstanding one at that. Halloween Horror Nights deserves all the praise and accolades it's received and this first-timer had a frightfully good time. I also REALLY want to be a scareacter and/or stilt walker here. It just looked like so much fun!

If you love haunts, haunted houses, etc, you really need to check out Halloween Horror Nights at least once in your life. It's well worth it.

Universal, thank you for a great time and see you next year! :)